Rocklahoma 2009

The flowers are blooming and the sun is coming out so that means it is soon time for hasbeen and neverwhere hair bands to head out to Oklahoma. Surely fans with lots of money and not much taste will flock to see them. So once again I asked Bob Vinyl from http://rnrnonsense.toomanyvoices.com/ to come chime in with his thoughts on this years line-up. I took the listing from the Rocklahoma Myspace page.

Thursday:

Anthrax-

Metal Mark-It’s a given they will deliver live. That’s a no brainer. However, I have not been too big on any of their albums since “Sound of white noise” way back in 1992. The biggest question might be will the glam fans who are interested in the bands playing on the other days care about Anthrax?

Saxon-I think these guys will be what I hear Y and T last year. They will come play a good set and the hair metal fans will be like “ I can’t wait for Danger Danger”.

Overkill- They are still good. I can’t understand why they are playing this show instead of jumping on the European festival scene though. I just hope that Bobby Ellsworth doesn’t cough up a lung on stage.

Metal Church- I think there is one original member left and the last album was decent and best. Yet they are still way above the many cream puffs on this show.

Leatherwolf-I have always liked these guys. The last disc was a re-recording of a previous album, but it was still good and their heaviest album to date..

Bob Vinyl-
Why would the first four embarrass themselves by appearing at this hairspray fest? Yeah, I know Saxon released a few lightweight albums in the mid to late 80s that might appeal some Rocklahoma fans, but I'd think Saxon would want to forget that. Anthrax, Overkill and Metal Church just don't make any sense at all. It makes me think less of all of them. Leatherwolf already has a bit of a bad legacy after re-issuing the same album with a new singer, but even they should know better than to participate in this joke.



Friday:
Stryper-
Metal Mark-Uh, the best thing I can say here is at least they won’t be wearing those wretched black and yellow bumblebee looking costumes (at least I hope not).

Bob Vinyl-I always laid off of these guys a bit, because they had the guts to speak out about their beliefs in a scene that wasn't likely to be all that receptive. That being said, I'm not gonna give them a break on getting back together to cash in on this nonsense.

Night Ranger-
Metal Mark-What’s the matter, weren’t Loverboy available?

Bob Vinyl-Hold on, weren't these guys just watered down hard rock 25 years ago? What makes anyone think they'll be better now? Motorin'...yeah, I'd be motorin' right out of there.

Warrant-
Metal Mark-Their third Rocklahoma and they have had a different singer each time. Maybe they should have a contest where someone for the audience will get to be their singer next year.

Bob Vinyl-Warrant is as fabricated as a boy band. Nothing they did was real and nothing they did was any good at all. I don't think I can express in words how completely rotten Warrant was/is. If you like Warrant, you're just stupid.

Danger Danger-
Metal Mark-Stinker, Stinker is more like it.


Bob Vinyl-They could have been called Danger, but they're such a bunch of ninnies that they had to repeat themselves to try to convince everyone. I still don't buy it.

Helix-
Metal Mark-They were bland back in the mid-80s. Does anyone believe that twenty plus years and lots of line-up changes have made them sound better?

Bob Vinyl-Don't you think bands this rotten would rather be forgotten? Apparently not. Too bad, because I'd like to forget.

Hurricane Alice-
Metal Mark-I am confused here because the Rocklahoma Myspace page is listing this under the band’s original name. They became Hericane Alice in the late 80’s and the singer revived the name with three new guys not too long ago. They played a few shows last year, but there is nothing on their Myspace page about them playing Rocklahoma. I guess even the people at the event’s Myspace page didn’t know who these guys are.

Bob Vinyl- If there's a hurricane, do they need extra hairspray?






Saturday:
Thin Lizzy-
Metal Mark-I like John Sykes, but seriously without Phil Lynott this is just a tribute band.

Bob Vinyl-So was Phil Lynott's death some kinda hoax? I mean that's gotta be more plausible than some other guys from Thin Lizzy getting together and calling it Thin Lizzy without him, right?

KIX-
Metal Mark-These guys never quite made it to the big time in the 80’s. Now when they play these festivals fans act like they are royalty or something. That should tell you something about the quality of the other bands playing this event.

Bob Vinyl-Being from Baltimore, I couldn't even figure out why this guys were popular locally. Seriously, these guys are more embarrassing that the city's crack problem.

KEEL-
Metal Mark-Seriously, these guys were poor back in the day. I don’t how they stayed on a major label as long as they did.

Bob Vinyl-If it's Thin Lizzy without Phil Lynott, maybe the upside is we could have Keel without Ron Keel. No such luck I'm sure. In a genre of ridiculous singers, Ron Keel is one of the worst.


Gypsy Pistoleros-
Metal Mark-If they can keep a steady line-up then they could really be one of the few really promising hard rock bands going today.


Bob vinyl-The ONLY good thing in glam today. The only good band in the lineup after Thursday.





Sunday:
Twisted Sister-
Metal Mark-Fifty year old drag queens who can barely play their instruments and still they are one of the top bands playing this “event”.

Bob Vinyl-Okay, Dee Snider seems like a cool guy and Twisted Sister was actually pretty good for a bunch of mediocre musicians, but that doesn't mean I want to hear their fleeting moment of success replayed.

Skid Row-
Metal Mark-No Sebastian Bach, so who cares? The youth stopped going wild for these guys a long time ago.

Bob Vinyl-They were one of the best hair metal bands of the late 80s and that still doesn't make them very good. At least without Sebastian Bach, no one will have to hear any of his crappy solo material.


Great White-
Metal Mark-I could make some rude fire comment, but this band was a bad joke long before that ever happened.

Bob Vinyl- Do the tickets come with a fire extinguisher?

Nelson-
Metal Mark-Oh, yeah the guys with the hair. They were very fluffy back in the day so they should fit in fine with this day’s group.

Bob Vinyl-Why do all bad things have to come back? Did anyone who actually liked music and not just pop culture think these guys were any good? And does long hair automatically make it rock music? Doesn't that Yanni guy have long hair? And Kenny G too? Will they be playing Rocklahoma? I mean, they rock as hard as Nelson, don't they?

Bonfire-
Metal Mark-The only band on the main stage that I never heard anything by. They play between Vixen and Nelson so they won’t have to do much to sound good.

Bob Vinyl-Are these guys the Great White after party?

Vixen-
Metal Mark-One original member left. That’s one more than the number of people who gave their last album a positive review.

Bob Vinyl-The novelty of being an all-female band in a scene that celebrated misogyny wore thin about as quickly as the stupidity of the scene as a whole. Isn't this just one original member? I guess the others finally woke up to how rotten the band was in its "prime" let alone now.




Lineup for the side stages include: MASS, Hallows Eve, Krank, Aska, Bai Bang, Mad Max, Roxanne, Ronny Munroe, Frontrunner, Reckless, Real Steel, Cuttlass, Miles Beyond, Herazz, Revengeance, Letchen Grey, Lickity Split, Biloxi, Aura Surreal, Hollywood Harlot, Electro Nomicon, Halcyon Way, Ritual Habits, The Glitter Boys, Nasty Nasty, Lorraine, Bodragaz, Axeticy, ANJ, Hallucination, Atomic Clock, Widow, Strike The Sun, Altered Ending, Rebel State, Chizel, Zeroking, Fan Halen, T.H.V, Herman Rarebell of the Scorpions and friends, Terry Glaze formally of Pantera, Silent Rage, Warrior, Pair A Dice, Julliet, Wild Street and Vougan.-

Metal Mark-
How did a good band like Hallow’s Eve end up on this train wreck? I remember liking MASS, but that was a long time ago. Did anyone else hear Herman Rarebell’s last album? No, I didn’t think so. Would anyone know who Terry Glaze was if Pantera hadn’t have made it after he left? Doubtful. Earlier report had it listed as Lord Tracy featuring Terry Glaze, but I guess it’s just him now. A lot of the others are from Retrospect’s rag tag fleet. I was always curious about Krank though, I remember hearing a few good words about them back in the day.

In addition to the above named bands, groups who were on the main stage at the previous Rocklahoma festivals are also playing the side stages. Those bands include Beautiful Creatures, LA Guns featuring Tracii Guns, Britney Fox, Bang Tango, Lillian Axe and Faster Pussycat.

My first thought is why are these bands playing the side stage? Aren’t LA Guns much more of an attraction than like a 1/3 of the bands on the main stage? Maybe these bands are stuck in there so that someone actually does come over to the side stages this year. I would be mad if I were Tracii Guns as they had played the main stage for two years now they are stuck on a side stage. Especially since one of those stages fell down last year. Lillian Axe’s last album was pretty good. I think it’s funny that Beautiful Creatures and Bang Tango are on the same bill. Maybe Joe LeSte can come up with another band real quick so he can get another paycheck


There you go. In case you are interested here are the posts on the previous Rocklahoma events.

http://metalmark.blogspot.com/2007/04/rocklahoma-my-view.html


http://metalmark.blogspot.com/2008/03/good-bad-and-our-big-mouths-rocklahoma.html