Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Golden Turd of 1985

I briefly did top ten lists, top and bottom album covers and the golden turd for the years 1980-1984 back in August. The idea behind the Golden Turd award is not that it's necessarily the worst album of the year, but that it was disappointing in some way thus the golden part. A bad album from an unknown band that didn't get a of lot hype would just be a plain turd because there were no real expectations. So to qualify for this award, the album has to be bad and be disappointing in some way. I think this disappointment is going to be due one of the two following circumstances- A) the band had a history of good albums, but this album is rank- or choice- B)this album was received a lot of hype and publicity through magazines and reviews, but this album is rank.
Okay there is the idea and here is the list of the previous winners.
1981-Kiss-Music from the Elder
1982-Ted Nugent-Nugent
1983-Black Sabbath-Born Again
1984- No award given because I didn't see any album as being deserving and this is a good thing.

I just want to state that I did not create this award just to bash bands because I am a fan of this music and I would love it if everyone put out good albums. I created this award so that I could vent some of my frustration on bands that could have done a better job and on magazines and record companies who promoted bands that may not have deserved such a push. All of the previous winners fall into the category of bands who did good albums previously, but bombed with this outing. However, the winner for 1985 falls into the category of getting a lot of hype yet their album was bad and they didn't deserve all of the attention they received. That may be a strong statement for me to make so I need to justify that and I will try to. The winner of the 1985 Golden Turd award is.......

Keel- The Right to rock

I think I may need to go back a few more years and give some background here. Ron Keel was in the LA scene and he was in Steeler with Yngwie Malmsteen in 1983. They recorded one album before breaking up. Then Ron Keel auditioned for Black Sabbath and got the job (this would have been right after Ian Gillain had returned to Deep Purple). He lasted only a brief time in Sabbath as he was let go after asking for a ridiculous amount of money (his own words). He formed his own band Keel and quickly released a debut in 1984. The album got good reviews and the band was quickly signed to a major label. They went into the studio and recorded their major label debut with Gene Simmons of Kiss producing. Okay, so the hype is here is a guy who in two short years has recorded with Yngwie Malmsteen, been in Black Sabbath even if it was just a few weeks, was quickly signed to a major over a lot of other struggling LA bands and this album is produced a big name in Gene Simmons. That sounds like he has done a lot in a short period of time and the expectations are high.
So my first problem is that the Right to rock is bad and I mean wrinkle your nose and gag kind of bad. It's not only bad, but it's an album that supports those who make fun of this kind of music. It has rotten overdone vocals, mediocre music and ridiculous lyrics. Please don't think I am bashing these guys just because they are hair metal, there were a lot of good hair metal bands around. The reason bands like Motley Crue and Poison can get away with having limited skills is that at their best, these bands are fun to listen to. There is no joy to this album and they don't try to have fun with it, they try to act like they actually take this serious. Come on, guys you have a song called "You're the victim, I'm the crime", how serious are we supposed to take that? This album got good reviews from the metal mags and the band were featured in a lot of metal mags as well. So Keel gets this award for 1985. I don't want to be all negative so I do need to say that I heard Ron Keel's Fair Game which was him with an all female backing band. It was good although not anything new, but still good. I also remember Keel's next album Final Frontier as being good, but it has been a long time since I have heard it.
That wraps up the 1985 hard rock/ heavy metal awards. Now I go back to doing monthly reviews on 20 year old albums as well as babbling about other metal related topics.


Blogger T-_Bone said...

For 1984's Golden Turd, I would choose Paul Di'anno's solo album.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

I didn't hear that one. I have the first Battlezone on album which I beleive came out in 86. I remember liking it, but have not listened to it in a long time.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Llan said...

I only recently found your blog searching for Metal Blogs, and I really like it. The reviews are well written, without biases and arrogance so often seen in "private" reviews. I will go on to read the archive :)

2:20 AM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

The year 1984 had at least one semi-turd: Rush's Grace Under Pressure -- which was a big disappointment for fans hoping for a return to the more complex, heavier Rush music from the mid to late 70s.

Of course, the band's next album, Power Windows, was even worse ...

-- david

5:14 AM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

I forgot to mention that you are very right about Keel. Their version of "Let's Spend the Night Together" on "The Right To Rock" is wretched enough to make Ketih Richards turn in his grave. And yes, I know Keith's not really dead ... that's precisely hoiw bad this remake is.

-- david

5:36 PM  
Blogger Ben Heller said...

Great blog Mark. I'll come back. My lines of referral for 80's HM aren't as strong as yours.

I'll read and learn.

11:58 PM  

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