Monday, December 18, 2006

Taking the Greyhound home for Christmas

In the early 90's I went to college in Kentucky. I decided not to take my car in order to save money. So when I wanted to come home for Christmas I had to ride the Greyhound bus. By car the trip from Kentucky to Maryland took about 9-10 hours, but by the route the bus took it was 18 hours. I also had to change buses three times during the trip. I saw some strange things on my trips aboard the Greyhound. Here are a few.

-Once a little guy got on the bus carrying two big brown bags full of oranges. It was not crowded on the bus so he set the bags in one seat and he sat in another seat. It was the middle of the night so when the bus started up they turned out the lights. As soon as they turned out the lights this guy layed down in the middle of the aisle on his back. He stayed that way for four hours and any one who had to get to the bathroom had to strain to get around him because he wouldn't budge.

-Once I got onto a really crowded bus and took the first seat I could find. it was next to this old women who had hardly any teeth. She was quiet until the bus started up and then she talked to herself non-stop for three hours. When the bus stopped then she stopped talking.

-I never started conversations with people on the bus, but I would talk if asked. One year I was on the bus headed home for Christmas. The bus going from Pennsylvania and into Maryland so I was just a few hours away from my stop. This guy in front of me starts talking to me about the weather and general stuff. He seemed okay and then the bus stops in Hagerstown, Maryland for a break. I was a big smoker back then so I immediately headed to where the ashtrays were. This guy I had been talking to came over and asked me for a light. While we are smoking he asks me where I am heading to and I tell him. Then I ask where he is going and here was his answer "I am just headed as far away from West Virginia as I can get because they have a warrant out for my arrest there". Then he laughs and I laugh to but I wasn't laughing inside. When I got back on the bus I obviously switched seats.

Glad that I don't have to ride the Greyhound anymore.


Blogger Ben said...

Great stories Mark.
2 questions ?

a) What was the guy gonna do with all those oranges ?

b) Do you really think there was a warrant out for the other guy ?

12:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The old woman sounds like a great character for a movie or a sitcom.

The West Virginia guy sounds like a freak.

I don't know what to make of Gomez Adams.

2:38 AM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

A)No idea
B)Yes, he was laughing in a crazy way not in a joking sort of way.

Captain Corky-They were all kind of odd.

3:25 AM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

Too bad you didn't give that guy your full address--you can have had a new close friend.

Are you sure he didn't say he was about to get arrested for listening to Warrant?

-- david

1:57 PM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

David-I believe listening to Warrant is a crime in some parts of the country. So is singing Karaoke versions of Cherry Pie.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They should just hand out reality show contracts when you buy your Greyhound Ticket. I mean I would watch a show about each of the people you talked about.

6:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mark sorry for all the duplicate posts I have no idea why blogger felt the need to have me post the same drivel 8000 times.

6:38 PM  
Blogger ChristyTN said...

Like Mark, I took the greyhound to college a few times. It does seem like there are some strangely interesting characters. My most interesting was a guy who got on the bus carrying a garbage bag full of something. The bus was full, so he proceded down the aisle counting each person. He had the bag slung over one shoulder and was grabbing each person's head as he counted them. Then he sat down and started reciting Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream".

7:47 PM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Kim Jong Ramone-There is an idea for a show. Get on the Greyhound in New York and ride it to LA while filming all the crzaies you meet along the way.

Christy-It's one thing to be a loon in front of just a few people, but it's even worse to be a loon in front of the whole bus.

3:49 AM  
Anonymous HardRock Hideout said...

Hey Mark,
What college did you go to?

I live in KY!

7:40 AM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Hardrock hideout-Berea

7:47 AM  
Anonymous HardRockHideout said...

LOL...that is about 2.5 hours down the road from me. :)

12:12 PM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

That's cool. My brother went to college there as well and stayed there. So we go there to visit every once in a while.

7:57 PM  

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