Cockneys Vs. Zombies ,

Scream Factory
2013

This review is long-overdue. I realize that. No excuses though. Still, up front I'll just say that while it's no "Shaun of the Dead" it's about as close as you can get while still keeping things a bit more "original". It's also a much watch for fans of zombie comedy. Filled with plenty of laughs and a surprising heavy amount of gore, as well as a different take on the how and why the living dead come to attack our unlikely hero's hometown, "Cockneys Vs. Zombies" impressed me more then "Warm Bodies" (which in my rankings was WAY better then the cluster**k "World War Z"!). From the moment I saw the trailer for the British horror flick I knew i had to find a way to get my grubby, zombie lovin' hands on it! Originally this film came out in 20012, but it took until 2013 for those of us in America to get a chance to get it on DVD. Speaking of which, my copy does not come from Scream Factory, but instead Shout! Factory. The cover looks different and it does not have the bonus material that the Scream Factory one has. The one pictured above is what I would look to acquire if I was to buy it again. Anyway, the film was directed by Matthias Hoene and written by James Moran and Lucas Roche. For those who wonder exactly what a "cockney" is then click on this link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockney) otherwise here's the story. Without any major spoilers, brothers Terry and Andy MacGuire plan to rob a bank in order to gather together enough funds in order to save their grandfather Ray's retirement home from being demolished by property developers. You see Ray, who incidentally is an ex-gangster, means the world to Terry and Andy. With help from their (much-wiser) cousin Katy and their friend/world's biggest moron Davey Tuppence they hope to do the old in and out and save gramps from (presumably) a life on the streets. Troubles first arise when the group enlists the help of former soldier "Mental" Mickey. If his nickname isn't clue enough then let's just say the this guy is just about as crazy as they come. Armed to the teeth the group's attempt at bank robbery goes terrible wrong. Hostages are taken and suddenly a "simple" robbery turns into a fight for survival as the group literally walks smack dab into a full-blown zombie apocalypse!  Knowing that their grandfather and his retirement home friends are not safe the group eventually makes their way to Ray. Do they get there in time? Who survives and who doesn't? No spoilers as this one has to be seen to be appreciated! And if you're a fan of the living dead then there is plenty to appreciate here! As someone who has been watching zombie flicks (as well as horror films in general!) for well over 26 years now I was more then satisfied with the amount of carnage present on "Cockney's vs. Zombies" and I walked away with a favorable impression of the films F/X. It's not as perfect as I would have hoped for though as some of the comedy does occasionally fall-flat and there are a few moments where I was left shaking my head at the inability of  a few of the characters to use even an ounce of common sense. Still, given the declining quality of zombie films these days (instead of hundreds of new zombie flicks popping up from everywhere I would be more then willing to settle for just a handful of new projects if they were actually watchable!) a movie like this one goes a long way in my book. It gives me hope that maybe just maybe their might be hope for fans of the classic Romero "ghoul" variety. Once it picks up it flows at a wonderful pace and director Matthias Hoene keeps the cameras focused on the action. As far as it's content it's not suitable for the younger crowd as there is plenty of violence and swearing going on. It has been awhile since I saw it, but I don't recall there being any nudity or what not present in it. But then again this isn't a film where that sort extra "padding" is needed! This is very much a horror comedy where the writers keep their eyes on the prize and don't get bogged down with unnecessary filler. It's all about the living vs. the living dead and trying to get to your loved ones before time runs out!! With Christmas right around the corner "Cockney vs. Zombies" would make a great stocking stuffer for the zombie fanatic in your life and it's a film that I plan to revisit again really soon!




http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockney

Resident Evil: Retribution

You will have to forgive me for the tardiness of this review. It has been an "interesting" past couple of weeks for me. Between having to "house-sit" for my parents (while it is true that the kids and I live with my parents there are usually more hands to help out with the cleaning and chores-watering plants, taking care of the 16 egg laying chickens on the property, etc) and my impending carpal tunnel surgery (more to come on that) it has been hard to find time to just sit and type. Granted, typing involves the use of both hands so when your left wrist is severely messed up and in pain then well, everything suffers. Before this turns into a pity party for me (which would be the last thing I want!) let's take a look at "Retribution" which is the fifth installment in the "Resident Evil" series. The fact that I remember playing the original game on the PlayStation is beside the point (as is the fact that I am a huge Milla Jovovich fan) although, given the almost "video-game" outline of this movie, maybe the original game does hold some bearing. Truth be told, there was numerous times when, while watching this 3D movie, I felt like I was watching video-clips from a horror game. As with the other films in the series this one has "zombies" and "monsters" and hordes of "bad guys". Sadly, for a zombie loving freak like me, it was more "monsters" and "bad guys" then "zombies". That isn't to say that there are no walking dead corpses involved (this is 3D my friends so you have to have some good zombie-killing moments in 3D right?), but they only pop up here and there. When they do op up though it's certainly enjoyable as was this film overall-enjoyable. Not great, but enjoyable. While not the best of the bunch it does deliver what it sets out to give the viewer-action, violence, neat special FX, etc. The plot is so-so of course and there were several plot-holes that left me scratching my head. But, by the time the credits rolled around I thought it was good for what it was. With (supposedly) a few more films left in the series (although from what I have read the character of "Alice" might be written-off after the next film) I am curious how much more then can really do to keep things "fresh". The ending of "Retribution" finds our group, again, neck-deep in trouble, but where do you take it from there?

Juan of the Dead

Entertainment One
2012

Meet Shaun (I mean Juan!) the "hero" of this 2011 Spanish-Cuban zombie film. When Havana, Cuba does the whole "the dead are returning to life to attack the living" scenario it is up to this 40-year-old slacker (and his unlikely and unlikeable group of "friends") to, not only survive the whole zombie Armageddon, but possibly even make a buck or two in the process. What begins more or less as a "subtle" nod of appreciation towards "Shaun of the Dead" (zombies start popping up everywhere and nobody seems to catch on to what is happening) quickly takes a turn into Romero territory (political message read out loud and clear) before finding it's way into an ending that was not only disappointing (no spoilers though and, based on the hundreds of glowing web reviews I read prior to picking up this DVD, I seem to be alone in my assessment of said ending), but a bit of a head-scratcher. Before the angry comments show up about how wrong I am in my review let's begin with this little tidbit. Over the past 20 or so years I have managed to fill up my movie collection with hordes (pun intended) of zombie films from the obvious (Romero's films, "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things", "Zombie", etc) to the not-so-obvious (Blind Dead series, "Rabid", "Hell of the Living Dead", etc.). I've also forced myself to watch some real turds ("Automaton Transfusion", "Special Dead", "Zombie Lake", etc.) just to say I had seen them. Since seeing the original "Dawn Of The Dead" (which is still the best zombie movie ever in my eyes!) as a teenager I've been obsessed with the whole living dead genre. I've sought out rare "gems" (going back to the days of video tapes that I bought from overseas) only to find out they were (at best) lazy and/or sloppy works of "art". So, I kind of know a thing or two about what works and what does not work. To be fair to "Juan of the Dead" there were things I really enjoyed and thought were clever. Having a outbreak on an island that is tightly controlled by the government and, in return a media that is run by the government (which, incidentally, has ties to not only "Diary Of The Dead", but practical implications of our own media here in the states which has turned a blind eye to the obvious), turns an ordinary situation into something much more interesting. Sure, it a bit of a stretch to to think that the Cuban government (and thus it's state-run media) would be able to convince the public that all these flesh-eating ghouls are just dissidents steering up a revolution. It's one think to be revolting against the government and all, but most of the time dissidents don't rip out huge chunks of flesh from their victims for an afternoon snack!. Even so it is an interesting idea/funny explanation that our "heroes" don't quite buy. Speaking of interesting, some of the dialogue is just that. The question of slow verses fast zombies is finally addressed by a character. Rather clever. Another positive is the location of "Juan of the Dead". This movie features a different landscape in which you get a real feel for what it would be like to live in a run-down country where everyone seems to be in the same boat-poor and just trying to scrape by. And finally there is the bloodbath. There is A LOT of killing going on in the movie and the special effects are surprising top-notch considering the fact that this is a independent horror film. Zombies are killed left and right and in unique ways. Simply enjoyable. The bad then? Well, first things first the obvious. "Juan of the Dead" is one of those movies where lots of things are "recycled" from other films of the zombie genre. This becomes a problem is your are someone like me who has spent a lot of time wrapped up in the living dead scene. Sure, it is hard to knock out an original zombie film after 40 years or so years of living dead films. I wasn't expecting a home run here, but this film seems old as if most of this we've already seen. At 100 minutes this isn't so much of a problem, but if the film was any longer I suspect it would have been a serious drag. My final gripe is in the characters. We all understand that, as humans, we are flawed. So, having flawed characters makes perfect sense. What does not make sense though is why there are no likable people in this film. Even our "hero" Juan is selfish, fueled by greed, a womanizer, etc. Of course it is all about redemption as he spends a nice chunk of the movie trying to make up for his past with his daughter Camila while also trying to protect her. It's a plot line as old as time itself. Having Juan (and everyone else for that matter) a flawed human being is fine it's just that all these characters are just not likable at all. It is probably not a good sign when your only 30 minutes (more likely less) into
a movie and your hoping that all of these people get eaten for dinner by the dead. I just kept waiting and hoping only to have my dreams crushed. Again, no spoilers here, but there was a much better spot to end the movie (when things looked hopeless). Granted that scene was followed up by a wonderful, gore filled, scene of zombies getting....well, I don't want to spoil it for you if you have not seen the film. Let's just say it is a creative way to take out a bunch of creeping ghouls all at once. The film would have worked well to end on a "what happens next is any one's guess" note. The ending though...well, I suggest seeing it for yourself. So, the good parts are the setting, dialog and zombie killing scenes (again, great FX for a indie film!). The bad are unlikeable characters, too many "borrowed" scenes from other films and an ending that defies logic when you really think about it. Considering all the hype surrounding this film (which, like a fool I bought into!) I was let down. I wanted to love this film as people were saying it was another "Shaun of the Dead". Sure enough it is, but it's more like Shaun's young & annoying co-worker who ends up as a chained-up zombie in the end. It isn't horrible. It is just that in the words of Public Enemy: "Don't Believe The Hype".