Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Bad song titles in heavy metal

This is one of two topics that I will be doing this week that are kind of connected. The other topic will be about bad song lyrics in metal. So the topic of song titles is a little less involved than lyrics just because it's less to read. Of course it's all subjective as to whether you think a song title is good or bad. It's also ultimately not that important because it's the actual song that matters. British hard rockers Budgie had some crazy song titles like "Hot as a docker's armpit", "Napoleon Bona parts 1 and 2" and "You're the biggest thing since powdered milk", but they were really good songs. Yet you have to laugh or just shake your head when you first see or hear some song titles. I am just going to throw out a few and I am sure some of you will supply more because there are likely plenty to choose from. Here is my contribution of bad song titles and I am only judging the title here not the song itself.

Keel-"You're the victim, I'm the crime"
What? This sounds like an awkward pick up line from some desperate guy in a bar.

Kiss-"Let's put the X in sex"
Same reason as the Keel song except that the guy using this line would get slapped while the guy using the Keel line would just get a drink thrown in his face.

Quiet Riot-"Stomp your hands, clap your feet"
I am sure all the teenage metal fans were singing this one out loud (yeah, right).

**Just so it won't look like I am picking on certain bands here is one by an artist that I like a lot.

Dio-"Death by love"
It sounds like something a heart broken 15 year old would write.

So what song title(s) do you think are really bad? Keep in mind this is only song titles as I will do bad lyrics on a different post later in the week.


Blogger Bar Bar A said...

"Hot Dog" by Led Zeppelin immediately came to mind. It's so - NOT them!

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Kostas said...

Anything by Bal Sagoth.

1:11 AM  
Blogger Ben Heller said...

Good to see you're still here Mark.

How about "God Gave Rock And Roll To You", by Argent or Kiss.

3:44 AM  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

"Jelly Roll" by Blue Murder...just brings gross thoughts to mind no matter what.

5:06 AM  
Blogger Sgt Fluffy said...

"I Gave You My Love, You Gave Me the Clap"-Puddy Grat song, though.


6:04 AM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

"X in Sex" was such a stupid and ridiculous song, and the video was even worse.

Iron Maiden's "Cross-Eyed Mary" is a funny title. I think it's a remake, though.

It just sounds like it should be a country song.

7:19 AM  
Anonymous Bruce said...

Anything by Stryper....

7:49 AM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

bar bar a-I agree.

Kostas-I will take your word on that.

Ben-Welcome back. I think Kiss even changed some of Argent's lyrics and called it "God gave rock and roll to you 2" or something like that.

onmywatch-I never thought of it that way.

Sgt. Fluffy-That is bad.

Phoenix-Cross eyed Mary was originally a Jethro Tull song.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

How about Great White's "Wasted Rock Ranger". This song crack me up every time I hear it.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Fred Charles said...

"Public Enema Number #1" Possibly the worst Iron Maiden title of all time...maybe the worst in metal. I remember a shudder running through my spine when I saw this listed as a song on "No Prayer for the Dying". Talk about forshadowing.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

I like "Toxic Shock" by Mortification. Makes me think of toxic shock syndrome that tampons cause . . . very NOT metal.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Mike-I don't know that song I am afraid.

Fred-That's one of three bad song titles on that album. The other two are "Hooks in you" and "Bring your daughter to the slaughter".


6:10 PM  
Blogger Strutter71 said...

I was always partial to KISS' "Uh! All Night."
Extreme had a couple of good ones: "Li'l Jack Horny" and "Mutha (Don't Want To Go To School Today)." Sounds like a 6 year old wrote those.

8:16 PM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

Kiss probably wins overall for several songs, of which the "X in Sex" tune is only the most ridiculous. Ratt had a few, like "Lovin' You's a Dirty Job," and the simply stupid "Way Cool Jr."

But it's hard to pass up "She Loves My Cock" by Jackyl.

-- david

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey what a great site keep up the work its excellent.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot believe no one has said this (at least i did not see anyone say it) LONILESS OF A LONG DISTANCE RUNNER BY IRON MAIDEN, I have never liked that song by them either. Possibly the greatest metal band ever (besides Slayer) and only one bad song name, not a terrable record.

2:30 PM  

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