Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Bad lyric day

Last weekday of the month means bad lyric day. It's a good song as far as the music and vocals go, but has some bad lyrics. It's "Top Secret" from Ratt. So here's about the first 2/3 of the song.

I'm racin' with time
You burn in my mind
I'm a man with a mission
I gotta rocket in my pocket
And nothin's gonna stop it

'Cause your my obsession
Please wait for me, wait for me

Your top secret, your top secret
I creep down the street
My sensors seek your heat
Covert operation
You're a bomb that's tickin'
I'm goin' down kickin'

That's classified information
Please wait for me, wait for me,wait for me

I'm runnin', I'm hidin'
You're top secret, you love is so exciting
I'm lyin', denyin'
You're top secret,and baby I'm dyin'

I'm in way too deep
There's no time to sleep
And I'm hungry and thirsty
It's like my finger's in a socket
I need your love to shock it
But time has no mercy

Okay, let's back up to the first verse. "Rocket in my pocket"? What 13 year old did they hire to write that? Skip down to the next verse and we have "my sensors seek your heat". I guess they thought this was clever, but if you are going to be tacky and cheesy then just do instead of trying to come up with other words for it. That just seems lame. After that it's simple and fluffy and then we get to the last verse I listed. We have the lines "It's like my finger's in a socket" then "I need your love to shock it". Shouldn't someone in the Ratt camp or Atlantic records have read these lines and said "P.U., try something else"? These lyrics are like small peaks of badness, but they occasionally rise to mountain-like levels of truly unthinkable badness. I'll be back next week with some more bad lyrics. Until then watch out for those sockets.


Blogger Jeff said...

Great choice, I couldn't stop laughing when I read the rocket in my pocket part, lol.

5:57 PM  
Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

Well, Kiss gets the "hand in my pocket, grab onto my rocket" dibs for "Take Me," but as much as I love Ratt's music, these lyrics are just awful.

10:04 PM  
Blogger bob_vinyl said...

Lyrics like these are the reason Soundgarden wrote "Big Dumb Sex."

10:47 PM  
Blogger rock_of_ages said...

lol - like modern day Shakespeare isn't it!

5:47 AM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

What 13-year-old did they call for "rocket in my pocket?" Ray nailed it: They called Gene and Paul of KISS.

-- david

7:45 AM  
Blogger captain corky said...

My eyes are bleeding after reading those lyrics.

8:38 AM  
Blogger RockDog said...

WOW! These lyrics are horrible!

9:49 AM  
Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

Yes, heinously bad... Arrrgh!

12:56 PM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

jeff-That was a funny line.

ray-There are worse, but it's bad though.

bob-I am sure because these kind of lyrics were the norm for these type of bands for several years.

rock of ages-I don't think they spent much time on the lyrics.

David-Bands like Keel, Wendy O., Black -n- Blue and King Kobra all had Gene and Paul or at least one of them write songs for them in the 1980's. Were they that bad that they had to take material that KISS wouldn't use for themselves?

captain corky-It looks worse than it sounds I guess or at least to me it did.

Rockdog-I agree.

Aunt Jackie-Yes, although I looked through about eight Ratt songs and this one of two that were really bad. So this was bad even for them.

I have decided to try and do this feature twice a month now so we will see how it goes.

1:02 PM  

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