Grand Stinker
I have done ten "Lesser of two evils" over the last year. So I took the albums by the ten losing bands and listened to them again (shudder) so I could rank them. So here they are from ten counting down to the Grand Stinker at number one. In parenthesis is the band they were defeated by.
10)Steelheart-s/t (defeated by Firehouse)
Not a bad album, but just uninspired music with fine vocals. Probably the closest Lesser of two evils battle.
9)Jackyl-s/t (defeated by Pretty Boy Floyd)
Second rate AC/DC that did rock a little, but suffered from being unoriginal. Also the only band to get swept in Lesser of two evils.
8)Danger Danger-s/t (defeated by Britny Fox)
Decent vocals and okay music, but just didn't stand out much.
7)Keel-The right to rock (defeated by Stryper)
Now we get into the bad ones. Poor vocals and thin music sink this one.
6)Vixen-s/t (defeated by Kik Tracee)
The vocals are okay, but just very run of the mill music.
5)Europe-The final countdown (defeated by Winger)
Keyboards and lack of hooks just made it sound really flat.
4)Trixter-s/t (defeated by Warrant)
So bland and typical that I forgot what it sounded like the first time around.
3)Vinnie Vincent Invasion-s/t (defeated by Nitro)
Vinnie blasts solos everywhere, but they have no feeling or rhythm or focus. Nothing else about the release helped much either.
2)Kingdom Come-s/t (defeated by Zodiac Mindwarp)
What a snoozer, like Zeppelin only without the hooks, feelings, style, charm, great vocals and sense of timing. So maybe it wasn't that much like Zeppelin after all.
1)London-Don't cry wolf (defeated by Odin)
This one has out of tune vocals, limp guitars, scattered writing and even weak production. Ding, ding, ding we have a winner or a Grand Stinker as the case may be.
Now it wasn't all bad because by doing these I realized that the albums by Stryper, Pretty Boy Floyd, Firehouse, Steelheart and Winger were better than I remembered them being.
***Lesser of two evils will continue this year only instead of just hair bands there will also be more metal bands plus solo albums as well. The likes of Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath and AC/DC will all be featured in battles this year. I will again shoot for ten during the year and then a Grand Stinker at the end of the year. So keep coming back to check them out. The first Lesser of the new batch will be out soon.
10)Steelheart-s/t (defeated by Firehouse)
Not a bad album, but just uninspired music with fine vocals. Probably the closest Lesser of two evils battle.
9)Jackyl-s/t (defeated by Pretty Boy Floyd)
Second rate AC/DC that did rock a little, but suffered from being unoriginal. Also the only band to get swept in Lesser of two evils.
8)Danger Danger-s/t (defeated by Britny Fox)
Decent vocals and okay music, but just didn't stand out much.
7)Keel-The right to rock (defeated by Stryper)
Now we get into the bad ones. Poor vocals and thin music sink this one.
6)Vixen-s/t (defeated by Kik Tracee)
The vocals are okay, but just very run of the mill music.
5)Europe-The final countdown (defeated by Winger)
Keyboards and lack of hooks just made it sound really flat.
4)Trixter-s/t (defeated by Warrant)
So bland and typical that I forgot what it sounded like the first time around.
3)Vinnie Vincent Invasion-s/t (defeated by Nitro)
Vinnie blasts solos everywhere, but they have no feeling or rhythm or focus. Nothing else about the release helped much either.
2)Kingdom Come-s/t (defeated by Zodiac Mindwarp)
What a snoozer, like Zeppelin only without the hooks, feelings, style, charm, great vocals and sense of timing. So maybe it wasn't that much like Zeppelin after all.
1)London-Don't cry wolf (defeated by Odin)
This one has out of tune vocals, limp guitars, scattered writing and even weak production. Ding, ding, ding we have a winner or a Grand Stinker as the case may be.
Now it wasn't all bad because by doing these I realized that the albums by Stryper, Pretty Boy Floyd, Firehouse, Steelheart and Winger were better than I remembered them being.
***Lesser of two evils will continue this year only instead of just hair bands there will also be more metal bands plus solo albums as well. The likes of Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath and AC/DC will all be featured in battles this year. I will again shoot for ten during the year and then a Grand Stinker at the end of the year. So keep coming back to check them out. The first Lesser of the new batch will be out soon.
posted by Metal Mark at
6:50 AM
7 Comments:
I'm still a little sad that Vinnie Vincent didn't take Grand Stinker honors.
bob-He was the worst part of his band. Pretty much everything about London was bad.
What a trooper you are Mark! A fine list ... of crap I mean. Thanks for taking the time to abuse yourself for your readers benefit!
I've always been curious about VVI, but I think I'll just give them a pass
To be honest, i like all those albums that you call GRAND STINKERS lol. The only two albums i dont care about are TRIXTER and JACKYL.
Anyway, we have all different taste in music and thats great.
Take care and happy new year.
The message before was mine.
dpth-My advice would be avoid VVI as much as possible.His work with KISS is good, but the VVI albums are just horrible.
Rene-Happy New Year! I like a lot of 80's-early 90's hair bands and I did back then as well. However I think for every one band like G-n-R, Motley Crue, Skid Row and Ratt you got like three bands who were more like Trixter or London.
oh, the humanity! someone give Mark a little oxygen tank after that exercise
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