Saturday, May 28, 2011

Hair Metal Hell-The WIld Boyz-Unleashed!


Welcome to the debut of hair metal hell where we'll take a hunk of junk and give it the ripping it deserves.

Polaris Records

Andy says-
Unleashed is the perfect title for this turd. In the toilet bowl word of glam (otherwise known as 2nd and 3rd generation glam) Wild Boyz (who of course made their name tougher by changing that "S" to a "Z") were a last gasp of a dying genre. Thank the dear Lord above it died too with albums like this floating around. Let me state my own shame here and now. I had bands like Firehouse and Mr. Big in my tape collection. Blame it on the drugs or the company I kept (big haired girls were a weakness I'm afraid for a moment or two in time) but even I would have hurled at this offering. I'd say the band "borrowed" from bands like Poison, Warrant, Bon Jovi and Pretty Boy Floyd but the better term would be that they "stole" these riffs. Listening to this was a chore. Maybe chore is to kind as it was more like torture. With that here is my judgement:

Rating out of 5.

Out Of Tune Vocals-4

Wanna Be Rockstar Guitars-4

More Hairspray Than Bass-5

One Dimensional Drums-5

Make Me Wanna Puke Ballad-5

Final words-
In other words avoid at all costs! I'm not sure who exactly this would have been targeted too other than said big haired girls and guys who dressed in drag. Awful. Who needs water boarding when you could just play this album over and over again!

Metal Mark says-

Now I like some glam bands, but unfortunately in the late 80's-90's the flood gates opened up and labels were signing every hair farmer without considering things like talent and originality. So fans ended up with a few years of lame guitar solos, poor writing and of course nauseating ballads. For the debut of this column we chose Unleashed! by Wild Boyz. Never heard this album until recently, but fans of the genre mostly spoke highly of it. The Wild Boyz didn't have an original bone in their bodies. As Andy stated all they did was copy other popular bands and mainly it's Warrant and Poison. So if the best you can be is second rate Warrant then you really shouldn't be making music.This is lame, watered down, sugary slop at it's worst. The music has no soul and very little energy.

Out of tune vocals- 3, he wasn't so much out of tune as he was just boring. Lots of lines like "take me honey oh sweet honey" or some true crap like that.
Wanna be rockstar guitars- 5, they didn't overdo the guitars ad much as some other bands, but that's because they don't have the skills to quite do that. However there are some weak squeals, forgettable solos and throwaway rhythms.
More hairspray than bass- 5, definitely because you don't hear the bass. Which if his skill level was equal to his bandmates may not be a bad thing.
One dimensional drum beats-3, he kept time I guess. Still very weak and typical of the style.
Make me wanna puke ballad- 5, the Wild Boyz even made the mistake of "creating" two stomach churning ballads. One just as putrid as the other.

Final words-I guess these guys were that some clueless radio stations would give them a push and that fans with no taste would take to them. Didn't happen and I can see why. There were more annoying bands, but not many that were as generic as this.

5 or less - There might actually be something bigger than their hair on this one.
6-10 - The music may have held up as well as their hairspray.
11-15- Aquanet probably made up at least half of their gear.
16-20 -So bad, it'll tease your hair (and turn your brain to mush).
21-25- This will do more damage to your ears than the band's hairspray
did to the ozone layer.

Andy's score- 22
Metal Mark's score-21



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