Saturday, August 11, 2012

Worst hard rock/heavy metal band ever


I actually started this post off intending to talk about the worst hard rock/metal album of all time. When thinking along those lines some self-produced albums from inexperienced bands of recent years came to mind. As I started on that topic I thought about how one bad album from a band trying to scrape together to record it wasn't as big of a crime as a band with no talent who signed to major label or large independent and made a career out of recording crap.  A recent post on Facebook about Poison had me thinking about this topic. Who you think is the worst band ever likely depends on what genres of metal/hard rock you like the least. Maybe it's 80's hair metal fluff like Poison or Warrant or maybe it's  noisy death or black metal that sounds like the songs were written as the band played them or maybe it's some self-involved guitar wanker like Yngwie Malmsteen.

***Who do you think is the worst hard rock/metal band ever and why?

Labels: , ,


Blogger non de guerre said...

I would rather be forced to endure a swarm of stinging wasps than have to sit through an entire W.A.S.P. album.

They have my vote for worst hair metal band of all time.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Malinku said...

Wheelz of Steel has my vote.
but Thrash Queen (Original Band) is in close second

I'm not even going to try and describe how bad they are it can't be done.

12:51 AM  
Blogger Александр Виноградов said...

"I would rather be forced to endure a swarm of stinging wasps than have to sit through an entire W.A.S.P. album."

I, um... Actually like WASP. And hair metal in general. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I really enjoy high-pitched (but not over-the-top high) vocals and this kind of a bouncy dancy feel to it. It's stupid, yeah, borderline guilty pleasure, but I just can't get them out of my head.

As for the worst metal band ever... I'd point to one of those doom metal bands with growling-heavy vocals, but I don't really listen to them and can't name one. Um... I really don't like Slipknot, I guess, but I'm hard-pressed to actually call them "metal". I actualy kind of like some of the bands, that use this style, like System of a Down, it's just Slipknot that irks me.

I really hate it, when bands sing in the language they don't know. Some of the better bands fall into this trap from time to time (like Russian power metal band Catharsis, which had a few albums in English and they're incredibly lame), so every time you hear a band do that - give them a good slap and tell 'em it was from me.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Tom-If you look along that line of albums on the right of the blog you will see a WASP album cover. That's because I am a big fan of theirs. Although I prefer their 80's albums to anything they have done since.

Malinku-Don't know either band. Should I bother checking them out?

Last poster-Slipknot annoy me too. It's noise, but it's not metal.

For my list bad hair metal bands like Warrant, London, Nitro, Trixter and others top the list. Poison gets consideration for opening the floodgates for more untalented poofy haired acts to follow. Yngwie Malmsteen drive me crazy with over the top drivel that has no soul whatsover. Satriani is almost on the same level. For newer bands White Chapel bother me because they get a lot of hype yet I've never liked a single song by them. Then there's Dragonforce. It's not like power metal is all that great to begin with, but they speed it up to absurd speeds and think that's impressive. Really it's a joke and a nightmare at the same time.

7:22 PM  
Blogger Malinku said...

@Metal Mark only if you really want to hear some horrible music.

12:26 AM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Malinku-I'll take your word for it.
Autograph and Boss were both on a major label in the 80's and stunk. Oh and I forgot Life,sex and death and Jackyl too. Both totally rotten.

4:33 AM  
Blogger Andy said...

London's lone Decline Of Western Civilization track is good metal. The rest of their catalog is crap. Jackal are horrible on record, but when I saw them live they were actually much better then I thought they would be. Slipnot is horrible on record and live. Worst shit have ever heard. Most of the hair metal/glam metal bands were awful. I have to admit that I have seen more horrible no name, local bands then I can shack a stick at. I'm sure every town has them, but for every killer Ohio band there are/were hundreds that sucked eggs!

7:04 AM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Andy-I thought London were bad on Decline too. I saw Jackyl open for Aerosmith and they were a joke. I agree about everyplace having local bands that suck. I remember seeing a show in the early 90's. Wrathchild America and veteran act Harpo were scheduled and both canceled leaving a bunch of unknown bands. The first band on was Spellbound and they were the only band that played that had a stage set and the only band that had their own shirts for sale. However they were totally horrible. They thought it was still like 1985 and they dressed like Krokus or Dokken, but sounded like crap. They covered Def Leppard and Van Halen songs and the singer could not carry a tune at all. Oh, the pain the pain.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

More on local bands that burned their badness into my brain. I saw COC in the early 90's and they had two local (Baltimore) bands opening for them. I learned you cant' judge a band by the name. The first act was called Bulk Mulch so I hoped they would be better than their band name. They were, they were decent 80's style punk rock. The next band was Gridlock who I knew had opened for a lot national acts. However they were stunningly rotten. Think of the most generic thrash mixed with generic hardcore then dumb it out even more. I thought they were bad and then the singer starts talking about having seen the Beastie Boys recently and starts into the worst rap song ever. After their set they threw copies of their demo into the crowd and I swear everyone stepped aside from the tapes and let them hit the floor because nobody wanted them.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous scott whitt said...

After thinking about this for a couple days, I am going to go with Stuck Mojo. Saw them open for Machine Head and they were awful. The worst part was that they thought they were killing it. The heresy started with them playing the riff from Sweet Home Alabama while singing Smoke, Smoke, Marijuana. Just sad. Then they topped it off with a rap version of a Sabbath song.
Sadly it did not stop there. Couple years ago they did an album because they thought that no one was criticizing the terrorists for 9/11. Really. Then 2 years ago they did another album where they covered Rocky Mountain High that resurrected John Denver and killed him again.

5:30 PM  
Blogger t-o-n said...

Jackyl was absolutely horrible. Ditto for Ugly Kid Joe and anyone else who toured off of a novelty single.

12:22 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home