Top 10 metal Christmas presents you don't want to receive
Here they are in no real order.
1-Career advice from Axl Rose.
2-One of those yellow and black outfits that Stryper wore in the 80's. Unless of course you want to dress as a bumblebee next Halloween.
3-Charm lessons from Lars Ulrich
4-Another reality show starring some past their prime hair band member.
5-Pretty much anything that Queensryche have recorded in the last 13 years.
6-An invitation to be a member of LA Guns. You would have to explain to everyone which LA Guns you were in. Since they have had over 30 members your chances of being in the band long are slim.
7-An offer for songwriting help from Desmond Child.
8-A concept album about the life of Nostradamus.
9-Vocal lessons from Brian Johnson or beauty tips, take your pick.
10-Tickets to Rocklahoma 2008. The veteran bands scheduled to play this concert would be better off sending out this letter.
We really just want your money. If you make a donation to us now then you will save yourself from having to travel to Oklahoma and sitting in the heat just to watch us go through the motions on stage and try to pretend that it's still 1988.
Hasbeen Hair Band"
**Special thanks to Bob-vinyl for suggesting number four.
Have a Merry Christmas!