Tuesday, February 05, 2013



When "Emergence" found it's way into my hands I felt compelled to do a bit of "research" first before even putting it in. I wanted to make sure someone wasn't putting me on before I waited my time. I was almost certain this would turn out to be some kind of techno/electronic studio outfit. It ended up that London's Neuronspoiler, who were formed in 2009, were actually a real band. Not only that, but they do play "metal". Their members come from four different countries and this is not the band's first recording. No, that honor goes to the 2010, EP, "No One's Safe", which actually has an average rating of 80% (on the Metal Archives) based on 2 reviews. I didn't bother to read either one of them though as by that point I was already off and running with this oddly named 5-piece. And what's an awful name without an equally head-scratching artwork to ponder? Maybe I'm a bit of a traditionalist, but I like my heavy metal albums to have heavy metal artwork. This one is just, uh, odd? I have no idea what to make of it. Why does it matter? Well, here's the scoop. If this band is going to be taken seriously they need to present a serious image. Art-wise this is, at best, goofy, otherwise it's just "Good God guys, what were you thinking?". It looks like a horny teenage boy drew it for crying out loud! The thing is this album is good enough to stand on its own. What you've got here is some traditional heavy metal, European melodic metal, neoclassical, classic rock, power metal, hard rock, modern metal and, well, whatever else they can summon up, all coming together in a way that sounds almost natural. Like breathing. So, why cheapen it with such a stupid album cover? These guys have obviously got the talent to make it. I just wish someone would give them a bit of a shove in the right direction and clue them in on what works (the music!) and what doesn't (the name/album art) while they still have a shot at making it.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're a liar, because the physical CDs were only available last night at the gig launch (16th Feb), so it could not have "dropped into your hands".

Secondly, learn to construct a sentence correctly before trying to look like a serious reviewer, I really don't know what to make OFF you.

Maybe you should have been an art critic instead? Would you have preferred the cliched skulls and horns?

Silly little kid.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A stupid cover? Well that is very descriptive and precise isn't it? What a lopsided, useless art critique. Its as if you were supposed to do the artwork for them, but got rejected at the last minute. I love the artwork and you know fuck all about being a decent reviewer.

12:11 AM  
Blogger Andy said...

Anonymous #1-Thanks for your constructive criticism. I would have hoped that people would be able to figure out that "fell into my lap" is a figure of speech, but I guess some people just aren't that bright. Although, for all you or anyone else knows, I could have received a burned copy of this album which would then be a "psychical" item, but we'll just let you make assumptions. As for the "of" verses "off" thanks for pointing that out. Spell check doesn't always catch those things. These things happen. Of course my usually response is "So?". It happens here and it happens on other blogs. It happens to pop up now and then online in new's articles and even in the old-fashioned form of media: print. I've also observed that there are two kinds of people. the first kind just says "Oh well, it's not like it takes away from the article at hand" while the other half goes out of their way to point it out and go on and on and on about it in a desperate attempt to make themselves feel superior. I usually just feel bad for that second person as it seems like they have nothing going on in their lives worthwhile since that seems to be what gets their engines running. Very sad.

Anonymous #2-Yes, I thought it was a stupid album cover. Did you want me to go into all the reasons why I thought it was stupid? I suppose I could, but what's the point? I assume it gives you a major hard-on so no matter what I say you'll just argue. I wonder if you designed it? You accuse me of hating it because I was supposed to do the artwork and it was rejected, but maybe you love it so much because you made it? You see my friend that's just a dumb argument all around. As far as my review goes it is what it is. I always invite constructive criticism (otherwise I wouldn't allow comments) and tell people that they are welcome to write their own reviews if they don't care for mine. You are also free to start your own blog just as your free to read other reviews/blogs. I won't lose sleep either way. I've been writing for a long time (over 25 years now) starting out with punk zines and local weekly papers. I do this out of a love for the music and the bands that make the music. I don't bring home a paycheck for this blog and this is just a hobby for me. Therefor I take criticism (especially silly ones) with a grain of salt. But, you have increased my hit count so for that I say thank you. Have a good one mate!

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those two above are not the only ones who think you are rubbish mate. Maybe you should give up this reviewing malarky?

6:24 AM  
Blogger Andy said...

"Those two above are not the only ones who think you are rubbish mate." Yep, you're right mate. I've got an ex wife who can attest to that fact!

It's good to see I've heard from three of the band members! I wonder when the rest will write in?

11:34 AM  

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